Last month, a founder in our network hired a CPO based on glowing references. Three months later, they discovered these references were actually friends pretending to be former colleagues. Through our work at Do Not Work With (DNWW.io), we’ve learned that reference checking isn’t just a formality – it’s an art that can save your company from costly mistakes. Let me share what works and what doesn’t.

The DO’s of Reference Checking

DO: Start With the Right Mindset

Think of reference checking as investigative journalism rather than a checkbox exercise. Your goal isn’t to confirm what you already believe – it’s to uncover the truth about someone who will significantly impact your company’s future.

I remember a founder who approached reference checks with genuine curiosity rather than confirmation bias. Despite being excited about a candidate, she asked probing questions that revealed the candidate had a pattern of abandoning projects when they became challenging. This discovery saved her team from a potential crisis.

DO: Use the Spider Web Method

When someone provides references, consider these just your starting points. The real insights often come from connections two or three degrees removed from the provided references. After speaking with each reference, always ask: “Who else worked closely with this person in a different context?”

One startup used this method to discover that their potential hire had left three previous companies during critical product launches – information that wasn’t visible from the provided references but emerged through broader investigation.

DO: Create Psychological Safety

References often hesitate to share negative information out of fear or professional courtesy. Your job is to make them feel safe being honest. Start conversations by acknowledging the sensitivity of reference checks and explicitly stating that you’re seeking balanced feedback to make an informed decision.

A technique that works well is sharing a minor concern first: “We’ve been impressed by their technical skills, but we’re trying to understand how they handle conflict. Could you help us understand this better?” This approach often opens the door for more candid feedback.

DO: Ask Specific, Behavioral Questions

Instead of asking “How was it working with them?” ask questions that reveal specific behaviors and situations:

• “Can you tell me about a time they faced strong disagreement from their team?”
• “What kind of support did they need to be successful in their role?”
• “How did they handle feedback about their work?”
• “What would their direct reports say about their management style?”

The DON’Ts of Reference Checking

DON’T: Accept Surface-Level Answers

When a reference gives a vague or general response, politely probe deeper. If they say “They were great to work with,” ask for specific examples that illustrate what made them great. Listen for concrete situations and outcomes rather than general impressions.

One founder noticed that a reference kept speaking in platitudes about their candidate’s leadership skills. When gently pressed for specific examples, the reference struggled to provide any concrete situations, revealing that the candidate’s leadership experience might be more theoretical than practical.

DON’T: Ignore Context and Patterns

A single negative experience doesn’t define someone, but patterns matter enormously. Pay attention to how different references describe similar situations. If three references mention that someone struggles with deadlines, even if they frame it differently, you’re likely seeing a real pattern.

DON’T: Rush the Process

Reference checks aren’t something to squeeze in between meetings. Schedule proper time for each conversation, ideally 30-45 minutes. The most valuable insights often come late in conversations, after rapport has been built and the reference feels more comfortable sharing honest feedback.

DON’T: Neglect Back-Channel References

While provided references are important, back-channel references – those you find through your network or industry connections – often provide the most valuable insights. Use platforms like DNWW.io to identify potential back-channel references and patterns of behavior across companies.

The Art of Interpretation

Reference checking isn’t just about gathering information – it’s about interpreting what you hear and, sometimes more importantly, what you don’t hear. Pay attention to:

Hesitation and Tone

Listen for subtle cues in how references respond. Pauses before answering certain questions, changes in tone, or sudden shifts to more formal language often signal areas worth exploring further.

Pattern Recognition

Look for consistent themes across references. If multiple references mention the same strength or challenge, even in different contexts, you’re likely seeing a true characteristic rather than a situational behavior.

Contextual Alignment

Consider how the feedback you receive aligns with your company’s specific needs and culture. Someone might have performed well in a large, structured environment but struggle in your startup’s ambiguity.

Red Flags in Reference Checks

Through our work at DNWW.io, we’ve identified several warning signs that deserve immediate attention:

• Provided references are all from the same time period (might indicate recent issues they’re trying to hide)
• References can’t speak to specific accomplishments (might indicate inflated claims)
• Inconsistencies between references (might indicate someone is not being truthful)
• References seem overly rehearsed (might indicate coaching)

Building a Reference Check System

Develop a systematic approach to reference checking that includes:

• A standard set of core questions for consistency
• Documentation of all reference conversations
• Regular review and updating of your reference check process
• Integration with other verification tools like DNWW.io

The Future of Reference Checking

As our business world becomes more connected, reference checking is evolving. Modern tools like DNWW.io are making it easier to verify claims and identify patterns of behavior across companies and roles. However, the fundamental skills of asking good questions and interpreting responses remain crucial.

A Final Thought

Remember that reference checking isn’t about finding perfect people – they don’t exist. It’s about understanding who someone really is and how they might fit into your organization. Take the time to do it right. The hour you spend on a thorough reference check might save you months or years of organizational pain.